Before I start this post, I'd like to introduce myself to those of you who might not know me. My name is Tristan White, and I'm a blogger and photographer based in Los Angeles. When I was about 15 years old, I made a promise to myself that I would do whatever it took to make sure that I was never bad in bed.
Over the years, I've spent countless hours studying female anatomy, studying bits and pieces of psychology, and purchased many courses on the subject of how to give women orgasms. That being said, I don't consider myself an "expert" or a "guru", but I definitely have some tips and techniques worth sharing.
This is going to be the first post of many, leading up to a course I'm working on called Discovering Intimacy Through Orgasms, so if you like what you're reading, feel free to subscribe to my newsletter so you never miss an update. Also, these posts are directed towards couples that want to take their relationship to the next level by discovering the most powerful orgasms our bodies are capable of. If you're reading this so you can give that one-night-stand a mind-blowing orgasm, this isn't the right post for you. Now, let's begin.
For those of you who have never had an orgasm, it is the height of sexual arousal. Not too sure what that means? Well, to me, an orgasm can be described as waves of intense pleasure, starting from the genitals and making its way throughout the body. These waves can cause involuntary actions, such as moaning, convulsing, and even ejaculating, but how do you give one to a woman?
After years and years of research, I've come to the realization that the brain really is the biggest sex organ. You can know all the techniques, but if her brain isn't in the moment, it will be impossible for her to have an orgasm. This brings me to my first point:
1) MAKE SURE SHE WANTS TO HAVE AN ORGASM
I know this might be a shocker to most people, but if she doesn't want to have an orgasm, she won't have one. It's quite simple, and it's quite simply the most important point of them all. I can sit here and explain tons of different techniques on how to stimulate the clitoris, how to stimulate the G-Spot, or even how to stimulate the deep spot, but none of it will matter if she simply is not in the mood.
Imagine you're coming home from a long day of work, and you still have to cook dinner, do the laundry, and clean the house. Now imagine that your partner just starts kissing you and rubbing your clit out of nowhere, and all you want to do is get all of your chores done. There's no way you're going to be able to have an orgasm under those circumstances. This brings me to my next point:
2) GET HER IN THE MOOD
This point is the simplest, but probably also the hardest. The easiest way to get a woman in the mood is to stimulate her senses through arousal. This might take some research on your end to find out what it is she's attracted to, and stimulate her mind that way. Some of these things can be physical, or mental, and it's up to you to find out which ones will work best.
For example, it might be something as simple as her liking it when you wear a certain shirt. On the other hand, it may be as difficult as her liking it when you run a bubble bath for her after a long day. The easiest way to find out what she likes is to ask her. All you have to o is ask her "what do I do that you find sexy". This question will make her dig into the sexual part of her brain, and make her aware of what she might not have even known she found sexy.
In addition to finding out this valuable information, try to get her relaxed by giving her a massage for about 30 minutes before doing anything sexual, which leads me to my 3rd point:
3) ENGAGE IN, AND ENJOY FOREPLAY
Many people don't understand that women need to invest a lot of time into their orgasms. Foreplay is a great way to not only get her in the mood, but strengthen the bond between two people. If you jump right into sex, you miss out on the intimate part of the whole act. It's extremely hard for most women to just kiss for few minutes and be ready to have mind-blowing sex. You have to paint the mood for the whole experience through foreplay.
The best foreplay lasts over 30 minutes long, and I know it might seem like a long time, but this is how long it takes to give her the kind of orgasm you're hoping for.
4) GET A MANICURE
I know what you're thinking. You don't know how I got here after my last point, and I don't blame you. Most people don't even think of this when it comes to thinking about sex, or just giving a woman an orgasm, but let me tell you a secret. This is imperative. Nothing, and I repeat, NOTHING, can get a woman out of the mood faster than you not getting a manicure.
Most of the techniques I'll be teaching you in later blog posts have to do with you putting your fingers inside her vagina, and let me tell you, nothing will make her want you to stop more than her feeling your hangnail scrape her insides. Long nails just won't cut it, so make sure you're getting a manicure at least once every two weeks.
5) DO NOT TELL HER YOU'RE TRYING TO GIVE HER AN ORGASM
It's very hard to learn a new technique that you just can't wait to try, and not tell her you're going to try it. A lot of people learn a technique, and they're just so excited to try it, that they call or text their significant other and say "I'm going to try this tonight". This will get her out of the mood before you even tried to get her in it.
Now let me make this clear, I'm not saying she won't be just as excited as you are for you to try it, but it's going to get in the way of her mindset. When the time finally comes and you two are in bed, instead of her relaxing and enjoying the moment you two are sharing together, she's going to be in her mind thinking "Is this the technique here?" "Is this supposed to feel good?" "I wonder what this is going to be like". She's going to be so focused on what you're doing, that she won't be able to focus on how it's making her feel, and this will get in the way of her ability to have an orgasm.
These are the 5 golden rules to giving a woman an orgasm, and did you notice that none of them have to do with anything physical? Like I said in the beginning, the brain is the biggest sex organ, but I'm not going to leave you empty handed. In this blog post, I'm going to share with you one of my secret techniques that gives every woman an orgasm (assuming you've nailed the 5 golden rules).
As you may (or may not) know, the clitoris is the center of most female orgasms. This bean-shaped love button has over 5,000 nerve endings, which makes it VERY sensitive to touch, and that's exactly what you're going to stimulate.
For those of you that don't know, this is where the clitoris is located:
Stimulating the clitoris can be very intimidating, and sensitive for a lot of women. Sometimes, the sensation can be so powerful that she will stop you from stimulating it before she can orgasm, because she is overwhelmed with pleasure. I'm going to share a technique with you that will not only prevent her from stopping you, but will also intensify her orgasm.
What you want to do is sit on your bed with your back against the headboard, and open your legs. Then, have her sit in between your legs, and have her open her legs. At this point, what you want to do is wrap your legs around her's, so that she has no choice but to keep her legs open. Even if she tries to close her legs, your legs will prevent her from closing them.
After you're in this position, and her legs are locked open, you want to engage in regular foreplay. Kiss her neck, play with her breasts, and if you're up for it, maybe even whisper a few dirty things to her. Then, wet one of your fingers with your saliva, and move it over her clitoris. While you're kissing her neck, move your finger in a circular motion over her clitoris, and wait for the magic.
Fun fact: because her legs will be wide open, the sensation becomes even stronger than normal because it exposes the clitoris. Even if she wants to close her legs, because they're locked open, she'll have no choice but to let you make her cum, and let me tell you, there's no better feeling than being in that position and feeling her body shake with pleasure.
Well, that's it for this post, and I really hope it helps you give your woman an orgasm. If you like what you've read and don't want to miss any more of these kinds of posts, subscribe below to be added to my Intimacy newsletter. You'll learn different techniques like the one above, and we'll even talk about the different types of orgasms that you can give a woman. The clit is the most common way to give her an orgasm, but trust me, there any many, MANY, more!
Until next time,